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A lot has been going on the past few days and I haven’t really had a chance to post anything. This is going to be a little long and a little scattered so bear with me.

After my last blog my uncle’s mother-in-law passed away and so did my cousins grandmother within 12 hours of each other. I attended two funerals this Monday and am still waiting on the call about my grandfather. I am tired of death and tired of funerals. I have been to too many funerals over my life and especially this year.

Thankfully I am planning a little weekend away with my husband and his family this weekend. We go camping locally and will be able to enjoy some time away from the internet. I realized this week that a lot of my feelings lately have been about feeling like there is no one on my team except my husband. My church let me down, my choir let me down, several people I considered close friends let me down. I want my friends to say “I love you and I support you no matter what.” Instead I have friends that say “I don’t want to get involved.” They also go out of their way to befriend a few people that have treated my husband and I like shit. I severed ties with a few people over today over this. I feel for me to start moving forward I need to change the people that are around me. Knowing the right thing is to change the people around me doesn’t make it any easier. I feel like I am having to start all over but I will feel better with a few good friends than a lot of half assed friends.

Thanks for listening.